Actually not so much. But I do read a handful from time to time, and one of my favorites is at In The Attic, Rachel Fuller's contribution to the blogosphere.
One of the reasons I read it is that it's funny. Rachel is hilarious. I also read it because it's real, she doesn't hide herself much at all. She admits to being a TV junkie, to having self-esteem and self-image issues but without being maudlin about it, we're around the same age, and both musicians with muso backgrounds trying to make our way in the world of popular music. True, there are as many differences as similarities. My boyfriend isn't a rock icon. Nico and I are not wealthy. I cannot relate to some of her shopping posts because I have never been able to indulge in such things. But I don't slight her for it. She's being herself, and it's delightful.
She is really inspiring as an artist as well because she's so welcoming and nurturing to other musicians. No back-stabbing, no diva snottiness is to be found on her blog, but she's not above taking the piss and, frankly, some people need that to reconnect with their humility. Apparently, she's going to be getting a little place in Paris, I hope it isn't too forward or weird to hope that we might meet up for a chat about music one day. Odds are a gazillion to zero, but I'd love that.
One of her recent posts concerns body-image stuff, size zero and all that crap. I admit that I have problems myself in that department. I am stunned that someone much more visible than myself can be so open about them. It's inspiring. Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I wonder will I ever be accepted just for my music and talent alone? Or will my other "merits" or lack thereof always stand in the way? I think of other women musicians/songwriters like Joni Mitchell, Amiee Mann, Lucinda Williams, I notice that they aren't objectified...Chrissie Hynde, there's another. I know it's possible. It's just so easy to get caught up in the bullshit. So much now is about how you look. Not so much the clothes (wasn't it always a little bit about the clothes?), but, for women, this obstacle goes underneath the clothes to the body. No matter what our brains and hearts create, no matter how well we sing, sometimes it's all about the measurements. Compare even some serious rock journalism articles one day. Read some about men and some about women. The ones about men don't focus much on what the person is wearing or what they look like, at least not these days. But the ones about women almost always include what she wore to the interview, whether or not she's lost or gained weight, as if that has the slightest thing to do with how a person writes or performs a song! This crap can keep talented women from opening up and doing what they love. It's sick.
I usually don't let it interfere with my music, though. Because it has nothing to do with it. It's when i think about performing that it bugs me. But when I was the cellist, the bassist, and not the front person, I didn't care. What is it about also being the singer that brings in the body-issue element? Why do I buy into this bullshit?
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3 commentaires:
Hi Rachel,
Haven't stopped by in a short while. Busy, but have read most of your posts. The one about Brian Wilson was so evocative and poignant. As well as your heartpouring about life. I cried over that one. Was sorry to see that you took it out, but understand your sensitivity for him.
HAPPY day for Chester! God bless and love you both. You do what you know makes Chester happy. Pooh crap piss on anyone who wants to judge you on that. I gave up long ago on trying kindness to help others see how they judge. I am guilty at times, myself. I have 3 special needs kids and we get SUCH a variety of responses from people, as we wander around in the community. Some people are not going to change - no matter what. They are very soul ugly. We move on and can only show our love by example, best as we can!
I agree on Rachel Fuller! She's a gem.
When I get thinking about self and have image trouble or get into a self-pity mode, you know what I do? And this is extreme. I go read about burn survivors. Total body burns, their pictures, their stories, what they learned from their experience, and how they cope in this image conscious world. Amazing stuff, there.
Well, I wish you well and continue to make your beautiful music. Your cover or Red Gray Blue was amazing.
Best!
xo Tink
Thanks for writing such a supportive e-mail. It's been hard. Chester got his wheels this last Thursday. It has been a challenge. But he's a Corgi. He was stubborn before he was handicapped, and he's stubborn now. Wheels aren't going to change that! ;-) Some people have been so wonderful and supportive. The kids around here are fabulous! Some strangers we pass on the sidewalk are total meanies.
For the Brian Wilson post, I saved it somewhere. I decided against keeping it up precisely because I didn't want to do that sort of intrusive star reporting. It was a magical moment, one I usually only tell if the moment's right to the right person. Someone who will understand my reasoning. I felt weird keeping it up. The surfing stuff will probably make it into a manuscript one day, though.
I want to send you a photo from Paul Zollo (writer of "Songwriters on Songwriting"), I look at it frequently when I have a body image issue.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/zollo/440876448/
I remember the first time I saw it, i didn't think, "Burn victim." I thought, "That woman is beautiful!" Still do. Soul. All about the soul.
I will endeavour to continue the music. There are always ego issues, but that's part of being human!
Found you because you had The Who listed in your profile. Pete is God to me...where can I hear your music?? Stop on by sometime!
Peace, Love, and Rock and Roll!
Lionel
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