Songwriting challenge undone.

Songwriting challenge has been put on hold as I am too busy being treated for thyroid cancer at the moment.

Songwriting challenge #2

Ok, so I don't have a full song for the last challenge, but I do have most of the lyrics plus a melody. I can always develop it later.

This week's challenge is somewhat easier musically:

Write a song with a chorus which has a chord progression of Am, D, G

I have no lyrics hints for this one, which is what makes it a challenge. For me, anyway.

Songwriting challenge #1

I have neglected this blog, but I have been neglecting all my blogs for the last year or so. Maybe on purpose, I am not sure. At any rate, I have a new musick-y project going on now. Trying to write more songs to have more original material for open mics and gigs that have yet to materialise. No biggie. They will. I may try to make a CD to sell also. We shall see. There will be an accompanying web page with sights and sounds.

Music is the project this year. Last year, I had to get a job as I could finally work legally in France. I did, but it was an adjustment that took longer to make than I had expected. Now, I feel somewhat adjusted. Husbandman and I are looking for a pad in Paris to escape the blah of Bobigny and I feel that I have the energy for songwriting and, yes, perhaps even performing, again. This should be an interesting year, creatively speaking. I am going to do some songwriting challenges offered by my first ever songwriting partner, Paula J. Smith. I am also noticing a theme running through some songs I have written lately. Accepting womanhood and all that.

Thinking of getting a Little Martin Koa because it's cute, but also has a decent sound for a practical traveling guitar. Who knows? Readers visiting Paris may see me on a street corner shouting some blues this year. You never know.

As for songwriting, I am going for 14 songs by the end of April. Rather than stress myself (and my husband) out with February Album Writing Month (14 songs in 28 days), I'm going to take my time and have fun. If songwriting becomes just another chore, what's the point? If anyone wants to join along on the challenges, go right on ahead.

Songwriting challenge #1.

Write a song that starts with the word 'Please' and ends with the word 'Naked'.

Re-recording.

With a metronome. It's easier for friends to play with my songs. That said, I have been so wrapped up in finishing a web site for a client, with my portfolio, with hand-sewing my own wedding dress and with wedding plans that I don't have the energy needed to record right now. It requires a concentration that I simply don't have. Once the the web site is done and the dress, I will be able to finish up the re-recording. I still play just about everyday because if I didn't, I'd be a wreck.

Had a weird dream last night. Something about JAE. I always want to get up and go play a gig somewhere after I dream of him. Had another dream a few weeks ago where I went to a club and there was a recording studio up on a second level. He was there chain-smoking and asked me to record one of my songs for him. I asked if there was a particular one, he said, "Anything! I want to take it back with me!" and I asked if there was a sepecific sort of guitar I could play. He said, "You don't need a fancy guitar! Just play the fucking song!" I woke up feeling really refreshed and feeling better about my music. Whenever he shows up in a dream, it's always about music and always about just PLAYING not over-thinking every little detail. Interesting...

I am making peace with the balancing a job-job and music. Just the way of the world, really. For most musicians. I can deal. And besides, once I have a job-job, I'll have money for...MORE EQUIPMENT! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Fear.

It's ugly. It can cow us into believing that our dreams have no worth. It's dangerous stuff.

For the last month, I have been cowed. It's not that I don't think that I have the talent. I do. Well, some anyway. But sometimes I get so worried that I won't be able to find a snazzy, well-paying job, once I can actually work legally, that I think, "Oh I had better focus my energy on beefing up skills in a sector that I am dead sick of and am becoming less and less enchanted by everyday." By that I mean, web design.

I was in love with an idea of myself moving back to Paris, getting a design job not unlike the one I did in L.A., being one of those annoying bobo hipsters with her cool job and her cool clothes and blah blah blah. At first, it wasn't even design. I wanted to work at my friend's creative consulting and translating firm. She made it clear, finally, that she wouldn't hire me. That was a big let-down. I had pinned so many of my dreams, so much of myself on that job. When I didn't have that anymore, I was sure that I should go roaring back into the design world. I'd go freelance. Well, since January, every project I have worked on has gone belly-up for one reason or another. Meanwhile, every time I work on music and put it out there into the world, I get a lot of love. Why do I repeatedly refuse to listen to what the universe is telling me?

Fear.

Plain and simple.

This weekend, my fiancé was on eBay and he found a Squier (Fender P-Bass design) for a pittance. If the bidding stays that way, I may end up with it. And I certainly wouldn't grumble even if it does have a c-style neck (*grumble*). The more I have thought about having a bass again, the more I feel a circle completing. I love to write songs, and I love to play guitar and ukulele and just about any string instrument you throw at me. But I am a bassist first. I will always be a bassist first. The fear is subsiding as I realize I can sit in with people, I can do sessions again. I know it's not the best bass on earth. But it's a functional bass. I'd love to have one of John Entwistle's old sunburst p-basses or one of his lovely salmon pink ones, or even my old pre-CBS, solid body, delicious sunburst p-bass (which now lives in my brother's recording studio), I hunger after a real Fender P-bass. In due time, in due time. For now, all I need is something functional, one that's cheap enough that, if it gets stolen, I won't cry my eyes out..much. I have become completely smitten by the idea of having a bass again, playing again, joining together with the band.

I remember when I found out John Entwistle had died, my hands CRAVED a bass. Besides tears, my first response was to find one and play the hell out of it. I need one again. Badly.

I am making a commitment to my music. A re-commitment. It isn't an easy path. There is no garuntee that anything will grow from it other than my own personal happiness and satisfaction. But that's a start! I can't keep ignoring what I have seen to be true in my life. Music is my calling. It always has been. Not stardom, fame or money necessarily, but music. When I make music, I am happier and life goes well by and large. When I don't, I am miserable and everything falls to shit.

Which would you choose?

Basic Demo = Done.

I woke up the other morning with a lighter attitude toward the demo. I was insisting on having every song I wanted to put on an eventual album done on the demo. Big time denial of my musical reality. One of the songs requires a bunch of instruments I don't have, and, at this time, would be impossible for me to play live by myself. A big purpose of this demo is to get it into the hands of gig bookers and club/cafe/bar owners to give them a taste of what it is I do. Why put songs I cannot play live by myself on a demo to get gigs where I would be solo? I realized that if I held onto the idea of insisting on putting these two songs on the demo, I would never finish the demo. They were obstacles in this stage of the game. These two other songs are not forgotten and will go an eventual CD when I have more musical contacts and more money to record in a proper studio setting. So I finished up the last two tracks for a total of 12 numbers. 8 in French, 2 in English, and 2 in...strumentals. These need some polishing, a few aren't even finished, but as I listened to these 12 tracks on my iTunes, it all flowed just fine. Much better than I could have imagined.

My current houseguest has a law degree (totally forgot she had it), and she gave me some tips on copyright and Creative Commons and all that jazz, so as soon as I feel better about these recordings, I may put a few up on the Virb page for people to check out. She's a very good cheerleader, and, though I am very lucky to have a few great cheerleaders near and far, it never hurts to have more. Ego and fear being what they are.

One more session to go.

One more recording session and the very, very basic demos for my CD, Migration, will be finished. I need to re-record some bits that were less than spectacular, plus one more instrumental. Then comes the fleshing out. Some songs need more verses or a bridge or a solo. One needs to be rethought entirely, which is a little daunting. After I figure out which end is up, I will have to re-record everything while hoping that I don't get stuck in a loop. Once I have a demo I can live with, and maybe even be a little proud about, I'll start working up a live set so I can hit a stage if someone says yes to me.

An old friend is starting a new club in the 5th arrondissement in August, she says. So I have to be ready when I approach her about getting a weekly gig.